Ice On the Roads

from by Junior College

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frost on the windshield
and the engine groans in protest
when I rouse it from its slumber
put my foot down and insist I know best
I am aware
you’ve been changing your whole station, but
don’t leave me where
my feet no longer feel sensation

all the sleepless nights
all the dirty jokes and loaded pauses
all the stupid fights
and the pictures buried in your closet
back when I could make you laugh
the world was flawless for a fleeting moment
you don’t know the half
how I’ve spent my life just trying to hold it
now you’re in Bible study
now you’re making new friends
and you’re going to Europe
and you won’t call me
you’re so responsible
working on your résumé
I guess I’m a lemon
and you’re tired of making lemonade
I wanted to stay here
we were flawed and we were perfect
so even if I never go forward
I’ll look back and know it was worth it
I’d follow you to better days
but I’m clutching the past like a hand grenade
and I’d run until my heart explodes
but there’s lead on my feet and there’s ice on the roads tonight

I miss the days
when we were all that mattered
but that moment that I froze in time
I dropped it and it shattered
I wanted to be kids forever
dumb and young and free
but why’d you have to grow up
and grow out of me?


from The Caribbean Winter, released April 21, 2015



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Junior College College Station, Texas

if I stay cool, silent and cynical, I can convince them all that I get it

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